list of things to do when you’re sad:

  • eat chocolate
  • listen to music
  • order pizza
  • buy new clothes
  • watch movies
  • masturbate

(via bunsen)


Bae: Come over I’m horny ;)

Me: I can’t I’m murdering two teeange lovers in a clown suit

Bae: My parents are out



(via covocal)



ain’t no reason to really be showing out for a girl the first time y’all go out. might as well show her the real you, let her know what she’s in for. wear a hoodie and sweatpants and some nikes, take her out to ihop, and just be you. if she can’t get with that then that’s on her. anyone that can’t appreciate a good omelet at 7 PM isn’t really worth your time anyway.

Okay but do males not understand that sweatpants & a white tshirt is sexy as hell?

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